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 Zaktel - 111 (WIP)

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Zaktel
Not cool enough for a real rank


Posts : 1
Join date : 2015-04-08

PostSubject: Zaktel - 111 (WIP)   08/04/15, 10:39 pm

Name: Zaktel

Age: 20

Race: Human (Caucasian)

Skills: Capable Marksman, Can reload very fast which allows him to take down enemies at increased speeds, Tends to give the people around him a boost of morale when he speaks, showing his Leadership abilities, While sometimes being arrogant because of it.

Role: Squad Leader (Or Sniper)

Screenshot/apearance:
Blond hair and blue eyes, small scar just above his right eye, running through his eyebrow.

Theme song(s): Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

Insignia, if applicable: None

Current Location: Deep Space

Current Status: Alive

Biography:
Zaktel walked up to a chair in the middle of the room, across the room is another chair, on it sits a woman with black hair, watching him, making notes on a small pad she held. "Please, sit down." She said, nodding at Zaktel.
Zaktel took another look around the room, noticing a small painting of a mountain, as the woman spoke to him he slowly sat down on the chair, looking towards her. "Why am I here?" He asked her.
The woman made another note before looking up towards Zaktel, smiling lightly. "Just a few questions, nothing to worry about." She says to him, leaning slightly backwards on the chair.
Zaktel nodded towards her, resting his right arm on his legs as he waits for her to continue.
"Zaktel-111, Correct?" She asks.
"Correct." Zaktel Replied.
"Place of Birth?" She continued asking.
"Madrigal." Zaktel said, looking at the painting on the wall.
"Age?" She asked, continuing to take notes.
"20.. Is all this really needed?" Zaktel said, a bit annoyed by the questions.
"It is. When did you make your first kill?" She asked, looking at him closely for his reaction.
"Long ago, Why are you asking me these things anyway?" He said.
"I was asked to check on you." She replied.
"For what reason." Zaktel started to get even more annoyed.
"Just answer the questions." She told him.
"I'll give you your answer.." Zaktel stood up, walking towards the woman --Error--
--Error--
--Error--

--File Incomplete--
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The White Wolf
The Wizards
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Posts : 4579
Join date : 2011-05-10

PostSubject: Re: Zaktel - 111 (WIP)   09/04/15, 09:05 am

A. Not a biography. Make an actual biography please.

B. Less commas, more actual sentence structure.

3. Weaknesses?

Delta. Spartan 2? 3? 4? Come on. There's next to no actual information in this character.

_________________
[16:56:44] Fallen : I LOVE YOU SKIPPY~ <3
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