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 Thal Vakra

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thalvakra
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Join date : 2015-04-24

PostSubject: Thal Vakra   24/04/15, 04:26 am

name:Thal Vakra

age:26

race:sangheili

skills: assassin able to use a hidden energy blade and sniper rifle however not very good at close quarters combat. Has to use dirty tactics if discovered before using hidden energy blade.

role: scout/sabotour

appearance:8ft seven has a scar across his torso from when he narrowly avoided a spartan knife thrown at him. is missing half of his lower left mandible. wears a purple breastplate shin guards and boots. twin hi-tech bracers with hidden energy blades a long purple hooded cloak upon his shoulders.

insignia:assassins insignia (from assassins creed)

current location:sangheilios

current status:learning and creating said skills.

biography: thal was born in the year 2510. it is unknown however which family he was born in. records show that he learned things quickly. by the time he was fourteen he had mastered all forms of stealth. but struggled strongly in close quarters combat. He joined the covenant by the time he was sixteen part of the spec ops division. He participated in skirmishes against both the ungoy and the yanme'e. Then the human covenant war began. During the war on both Harvest and Reach he had taken several bases. gaining a rank up to captain. however this was where his luck had run out. During the rest of the war he had more defeats then victories. retreating several times due to spartan interference. Soon enough Thal had lost his squad. During the events of instillation 04 Thal began to get suspicious of the prophets actions. When exploring an archive in sector four he discovered a shocking and horrifying truth. What he had been fighting for so long were the direct inheritors of all the forerunners had created. He ended up stealing a phantom and escaping instillation 04. Now he plans on creating a league of assassins to turn on the prophets for their lies.
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Razgriz
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PostSubject: Re: Thal Vakra   24/04/15, 04:42 am

Hi so, don't be alarmed but this is me giving advice and a small critique on your character.

A Sangheili assassin, while not unheard of, is rare among their race as such individuals were viewed with a certain level of contempt and having little honor, so I'm not sure how well your character who had been a career soldier, albeit a spec ops soldier, would make the transition to an assassin.

Plus the bit about the Unggoy (Grunts) will need some elaboration on, since as I understand it the only fighting done by Sangheili against the Grunts was during the Unggoy rebellion in 2462, a full 63 years before the Human-Covenant war.

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"Deal with the root of the problem, never the branches." - Alex CasaMadrid

"Good men mean well. We just don't always end up doing well." - Isaac Clarke
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K
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PostSubject: Re: Thal Vakra   24/04/15, 07:05 am

Adding on to Raz's post, it's pretty much impossible that he'd figure out that humans are the reclainers, given how hard the prophets tried to hide it.

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thalvakra
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PostSubject: Re: Thal Vakra   25/04/15, 05:20 am

Razgriz wrote:
Hi so, don't be alarmed but this is me giving advice and a small critique on your character.

A Sangheili assassin, while not unheard of, is rare among their race as such individuals were viewed with a certain level of contempt and having little honor, so I'm not sure how well your character who had been a career soldier, albeit a spec ops soldier, would make the transition to an assassin.

Plus the bit about the Unggoy (Grunts) will need some elaboration on, since as I understand it the only fighting done by Sangheili against the Grunts was during the Unggoy rebellion in 2462, a full 63 years before the Human-Covenant war.
didn't they fight against them the first time they found them?
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Razgriz
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PostSubject: Re: Thal Vakra   25/04/15, 05:25 am

thalvakra wrote:

didn't they fight against them the first time they found them?

Yes though that was more of a quick subjugation than a fight. But that's beside the point as even that predated the Unggoy rebellions and first contact with humans.

_________________
What is a man but the sum of his choices?

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fall."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


"Deal with the root of the problem, never the branches." - Alex CasaMadrid

"Good men mean well. We just don't always end up doing well." - Isaac Clarke
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thalvakra
Not cool enough for a real rank


Posts : 3
Join date : 2015-04-24

PostSubject: Re: Thal Vakra   25/04/15, 05:34 am

Razgriz wrote:
thalvakra wrote:

didn't they fight against them the first time they found them?

Yes though that was more of a quick subjugation than a fight. But that's beside the point as even that predated the Unggoy rebellions and first contact with humans.
ok I'll try to tweak it a bit. thank you for the constructive critisizm.
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Razgriz
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PostSubject: Re: Thal Vakra   25/04/15, 05:43 am

No problem, that's what we're here for.

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What is a man but the sum of his choices?

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fall."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


"Deal with the root of the problem, never the branches." - Alex CasaMadrid

"Good men mean well. We just don't always end up doing well." - Isaac Clarke
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